The latest (yawn) Barbie scandal - Tokidoki's tattoos

It never ceases to amaze me how here, in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, how many people there are who don’t seem to appreciate precious freedoms. I am not talking about immigrants still learning our history, culture and customs, I am talking about people who were born and raised, here in the USA, who have,  presumably, been through our education system, read the constitution, and understand the rights that were earned by the Founding Fathers via the American Revolution.

Or do they?

Perhaps I have a different perspective, since I grew up with my father as a role model. He was originally from Czechoslovakia, a small country in Eastern Europe to which history has been most unkind. Dad barely managed to survive two brutal, absolute dictatorships, first Hitler, then Stalin. When he arrived in the US in the 1950s, well, let’s just say my dad discovered “Freedom of Speech” and made it all his own. He was a very opinionated soul, and was, perhaps by definition, what one could call highly conservative.

Except in one instance.

Maybe it was due to the regimes he lived under, but my dad had an absolute loathing of censorship. What really surprised him, coming from the background he did, to a country where freedom was the rule and not the exception, was finding so many people who wanted to take away the freedom of others to choose, because the naysayers found something offensive. To best sum up how my dad felt about this, I’ll even use his own words:

If that book or magazine offends you, don’t read it. If you don’t like that song or TV Show, either change the channel or turn off the player. If you don’t like the movie, don’t buy tickets to it. No one is holding a gun to your head!

Yes, I am aware this is a blog about dolls, and yes, I do have a point. Today’s target is the latest (yawn) controversy over a Barbie doll, specifically the Tokidoki Barbie, which  Fashion Doll Review's own Alison reviewed only a few posts ago.

What amuses me the most about the scandals that keep coming up about Barbie – which, sadly, don’t seem to be slowing down in the slightest – is how hysterical some of the alleged consumers get to be, as if there actually was a gun, held up to their heads, forcing them to fork over their hard earned money for these dolls.

The scandal specifically focuses on Tokidoki’s tattoos. Hand wringing, hair pulling  adults, this time led by a woman named Marianne Szymanski, founder of Toy Tips, an independent toy researcher, who was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor, which can be found here.

I am not belittling the Ms. Szymanski for being concerned about the toys her children and other children play with – though I am not a parent, I know I would be concerned with how age-appropriate a toy would be, and even more importantly, how safe the object would be for a young child. There are legitimate concerns – small pieces a child could choke on, lead paint, toxic materials, age appropriateness, and so forth.

But Ms. Szymanski is defeating her own self-appointed mission, namely the protection of her own and other children and risks making herself a laughing stock by her own words. She notes that Mattel points out that this doll is meant for adult collectors only, not children, which is stated on Mattel’s website, and is sold, not in brick and mortar stores that are easily accessible to children, but online, at select retailers who cater to adult collectors. Tokidoki is not available to collectors at the regular Mattel site which is frequented by children, but rather at Barbiecollector.com, which is geared for adults.

How does she manage this?

“It doesn’t matter if it’s not for kids. It’s out there.”

“The argument that you’ll get from the toy companies is: ‘Oh, it’s for adults.’ But those companies need to know what parents’ concerns are.”

I really don’t understand this mindset. She has already defeated herself and her concerns. The item is clearly an adult collectible, she, herself says that is Mattel's official statement on the subject. Yet Ms. Szymanski, someone who is allegedly a parent, and the founder of what otherwise seems to be a very helpful organization for fellow parents, sounds incredibly naïve. Is someone holding a gun to Ms. Szymanski’s head, forcing her to purchase this doll? I find that highly doubtful.

There is a pattern at work here, which makes me wonder about a segment of "alleged modern parents." I say alleged, because I don’t want to demean genuinely good mothers and fathers who do their best for their children.

"Alleged modern parents" are people who do not stand up to their little darlings and being a parent,  saying to their little darlings, “No, you can’t have that.”  This variety of "parent" usually caves in to a carefully waged whining and/or tantrum campaign by said little darlings. Most times, they will finally buy the item just to get some peace; or so their children, “Won’t hate me,” or “View me as the bad guy.”

Instead of reflecting on how to actually be the adult in the relationship with their children, these "alleged modern parents" will create an uproar in the media, and/or file lawsuits against a toy company for an inappropriate item, such as a doll that is clearly not for children.

Perhaps the size of Mattel's bank account, real or imagined, is too much temptation for these "alleged modern parents."

I am not in the habit of defending a doll company or other large corporation, because these folks have their own legal departments who can do that for them; as well as publicity departments for handling inquiries from the media and other concerns. But the fact of the matter is, Mattel is clearly aware of "parental concerns," since they are marketing the item for adults only, and not placing these dolls in venues where children will see – and possibly covet them –  such as regular brick and mortar stores, Mattel’s Barbie website which is frequented by children, or online stores where they can be seen and purchased by children.

Perhaps Ms. Szymanski’s energies would be better focused on finding toys she finds appropriate for her children. After all, a $200,000 plus Ferrari, which is also an adult collectible, is inappropriate for children, yet she is not calling for a ban on those, is she?

Things I didn't do before I collected dolls

Goldie as Alice, originally uploaded by alington.

I haven't posted a top 10 list in a while, and it's time. Here are the top ten things I do (as a doll collector) that I didn't do before I got into the hobby.

1. Dream about dolls
2. Stay up late obsessing about how I am going to get my latest grail
3. Stay up late worrying about how I am going to pay for said grail
4. Stay up late worrying how I am going to explain my doll budget to my adoring husband
5. Run out of room in my doll cabinets
6. Buy special cabinets for the dolls
7. Spend X amount of time online per day, doing research on dolls, where X is an embarrassingly large number
8. Spend the evening redressing my dolls, and actually look forward to the evening redressing my dolls
9. Write a book about dolls
10. Write a blog about dolls

What about you? Have you started doing anything that surprised you? I wouldn't call myself a hoarder, per se, though perhaps some of my relatives might disagree. And my dolls actually do rotate through my collection--they move on to new homes occasionally, much to the chagrin of some other doll-collecting friends of mine.

Why I like BJDs...

Get to know me a little better through this slideshow that my friend and fellow BJD collector Melissa put together for her class.

Why do I bother with a blog? Why are my posts so sappy, sentimental and excited all at the time? How many BJDs do I actually have?

Watch the video and you'll see how my obsession started.

How to negotiate your doll collection

Dolls up to the ceiling on my doll display cabinet. Eeek!

Does your family complain about your dolls cluttering up the living room? Are boxes overflowing from the closet into the hallway? Has your spouse had it “up to here” with your collection?

From my experience, the best way to negotiate your collection is to show your spouse how much worse it could be.

For example, if you spouse thinks your display is cluttering up the living room, move your display throughout the rest of house: the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, office, dining room -- at least on a temporary basis, until he stops griping. If this doesn’t cure the problem, make sure you’ve posed the dolls so they appear to be staring at you when you enter the room.



If you suffer from overflowing boxes, get rid of the shippers. I used to keep them, thinking I might resell my dolls. But let’s be honest. You aren’t going to resell them anyway, and shippers just take up space. Now I keep only the boxes in the garage.

If you have too many dolls to display all at once, rotate your displays. This is called the “diplomatic approach” or “compromise.” I learned about this technique from a woman named Rosemary, who has a wonderful system of displaying her dolls each month by color. It’s both artful and lovely. Additionally, it gives you the opportunity to shop for more items for your dolls, if you’re short on a particular color.

Take your significant other to some estate sales. Preferably some really older estates that are dusty and really overwhelming. This kind of comparison makes your own house feel much larger and less cluttered. Well, usually. Just try not to buy too much.

I hope you found this article helpful. My blog’s aim is to simultaneously make your relationships run more smoothly and grow your doll collection. Ingenious, isn’t it? Let me know if it works for you. So far, I can't exactly say it's been working swimmingly for me, I have to admit.

How not to negotiate your doll budget

Here are some tips on how not to negotiate your doll budget with your significant other. Weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth may have their place when it comes to relationships, but not in negotiating your doll budget.

If you’re single, budgeting money for your doll budget may not be an issue for you. But I’m not only married, I share a house with four children. Additionally, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past ten years. Unfortunately, our society doesn’t see fit to provide us with much compensation or recognition, except for “Mother’s Day,” which primarily involves lukewarm coffee and toast crumbs in your bed. So instead, I'm left to negotiate my doll budget with my spouse directly.

First, crying isn’t effective. I’ve tried. And while it’s useful in averting a severe crisis now and then, it’s postponing the inevitable blow-up. Better to just get the blow-up over as soon as possible.

Second, an “allowance” doesn’t seem to work. Allowances are for children. Plus, what happens when your grail goes on sale? Or when it rains, for that matter? (See my previous post, Top Ten Reasons to Buy a Doll.)

Third, having someone else limit you also doesn’t work. The key is limiting yourself, rather than having someone else nag you all the time. It’s just not cool to nag--it’s annoying.

Why yes, I do know how much I spent on dolls last month. Don’t make me start hiding it the grocery bills.

Do you need a dolly intervention?

Are you a doll collector who needs intervention? Check out this handy list and see if you qualify...

You know you need an intervention when:

• you spend more at your favorite doll shop than on housing
• your bookshelves don’t have any real-life sized books on them
• your browser homepage is set to a doll-themed website
• more than 75% of your email is doll-related
• trauma ensues when most of your pre-orders fall within the same month
• trauma ensues when you can't find a missing shoe
• you have an email or web address with the word “doll” in it
• your Amazon wish list is only doll-related items
• your neighbors refer to you as “that crazy doll lady”
• your relatives refer to you as “that crazy doll lady”
• nothing cures a headache but a new doll
• you can’t walk past your curio cabinet without playing with your dolls
• you have just a touch of obsessive compulsive disorder
• your favorite initials are B, J and D
• your mail carrier knows you by name and sight (and fears you)
• your UPS and FedEx carriers address you by name (and fear you)
• you spend more than two hours daily checking doll message forums
• you spend at least an hour per week snapping digital photos of your dolls
• you spend 15 minutes or more posing a doll before snapping above photos
• you spend more time on your dolls' hair and outfits than you do your own
• you have accounts on Photobucket, Flickr and/or Mobile Me and upload photos regularly
• you know the difference between MIB and NRFB, and the terms mean something to you
• when other people play with your dolls, you feel disoriented
• nothing else pulls you out of the blues like a new doll
• you break a shopping hiatus pledge within a record time of twenty minutes
• you’re on a first-name basis with your favorite doll dealers
• you refer to your doll dealer as "my dealer"
• you think of your doll dealer as your "dealer"
• you’re not ashamed to leave comments on blogs like this one!

Are you a doll collector or a doll addict?

How many Steffies does one collector need? A few. But an addict needs them ALL!

The first post you read on a blog really can set the blog's tone. It can either give you more readers or turn them away; so I confess I compulsively rearranged my Steffie collection before beginning this post. This entry serves as a public service announcement for fellow doll addicts, and for those of you we annoy (such as my dear husband, who I trust will not be reading this).

The differences between a doll collector and a doll addict are subtle yet essential. I will address a few tell-tale signs, so you can determine your level of addiction. I've italicized the differences in each paragraph, in case you are in the "annoyed" category above and are desperate.

When placing an order, a collector will do the basic research for a doll that fits into her budget and collection. An addict will spend hours online searching for the absolute lowest price (to maximize her budget) and may revamp the checkbook to read “household expenses” to occasionally hide a purchase.

A collector may become impatient while waiting for a pre-order. An addict will stalk the UPS man and the postal carrier. Also, when a doll is delivered, even if an addict is ill (for example, suffering from a migraine headache with vomiting), she will miraculously recover, to the amazement of her family.

During a move, a collector packs his dolls carefully and may carry them himself, so as to assure their safe delivery. An addict will not only move them herself, but she will unpack the dolls and set them up before unpacking the kitchen, the bathroom, her children’s bedrooms, and her own clothing.

Dear Reader, are you a collector or an addict? Either one, I welcome your comments--unless you’re married to me. (If you're married to me, I already know what you're going to say. And I just love you.) I look forward to sharing my addiction with you.

Top 10 reasons to stay within my doll budget

This is a hard one for me. But there must be ten reasons, right? Or I wouldn't be trying so hard. And I am trying. Really.

1. I'll appreciate the dolls I do buy when I save for them.
2. Instant gratification is for the weak.
3. I'll be modeling good financial behavior to my kids. (This is my top motivator.)
4. I will stay out of arguments with my significant other.
5. I won't have to hide boxes or bills.
6. It relieves stress and tension. ("Although, so does shopping," says the devil on my shoulder.)
7. It prevents the impulse doll purchase. Those dolls just haunt me.
8. It increases creativity--I can sew for my dolls, style them, photograph them, instead of just buying.
9. Uncontrollable debt is partly what caused the US banking system to fail, and not where I want to be.
10. Anticipation is half the fun of doll collecting.

10 Ways to subtly hint to your significant other that you'd like dolls for the holidays.

Peak's Woods Yulli. Photo property of Peak's Woods.

At one of our recent doll meets, I heard one of our regular attendees talking about how her husband had purchased her a particular doll--while it was on sale, even--as a birthday gift for her. Naturally, we were curious, and that has lead to today's top ten list.

1. Open your web browser to the corresponding doll page during the promotional period, and walk away from the computer. Pointing your browser to the actual doll you'd like isn't a bad idea, either. Then casually remark, "Gee, honey, such-and-such is having a terrific sale today on this doll I've always wanted. It's nearly XX% off! It would make such a great birthday/anniversary/insert-your-holiday gift this year!"
2. Does your doll dealer know you on a first name basis? (Oh, come on. I can't be the only one!) You might suggest she or he might send your significant other a short email message with gift suggestions.
3. If that doesn't work, you might want to email him yourself.
4. Talk enthusiastically about what you enjoy most about your collection, and specifically, what you'd like to add. For example, "Oh, Peak's Woods has had this wonderful sculpt in their line for a while, and I've been wanting to add her to my collection forever! She looks like a sister to my other girls, but she has an open-mouth sculpt, and she's just so lovely. And they often take a long time to order. Her name is Yulli--she's the model on a bunch of the wigs on their website. I think she's so sweet.... Do you have something in mind already for my birthday?"
5. Make a Wish list on Amazon.com--they actually have a lot of dolls now! Froogle.com is another easy way to make a wish list as well. (Ask your other dealers if they will do a wish list for you as well, if you provide them with a list of your dream dolls and email addresses.)
6. Don't forget to keep mentioning what you'd like for your birthday or the holidays. I can't state how important this is.
7. Leave magazine clippings or catalog clippings of your grail dolls around the house, with a website link attached (handwritten, if must be).
8. My experience--ask and you shall receive. So if you ask for a $20 doll, that's what he'll think you want. In my opinion, you should aim high. And have a variety of priced dolls and accessories on your list, just in case.
9. Turn up the sweet factor. Clean up a little more, make his favorite foods, bat your eyelashes, hand over the remote more readily than usual--and since my daughter reads this blog, I'll stop right there. ;)
10. Finally, comment on this blog (I'll be posting a wish list article soon) or post your wish list somewhere else online (Facebook is great, too), and make sure he sees it. Or just go for cash. That's a good alternative. (Honey, are you reading this post? I have to check sometimes, you know.)

10 Reasons you should follow netiquette on doll boards

1. You might meet some of your online nemeses at doll conventions.
2. You might meet some of your online nemeses at doll meets.
3. It's hard to interpret "tone" online, and in writing, generally. To be on the safe side, if you think a message to you sounds negative, it's usually best to ignore it.
4. It could be your message that sounds negative when you don't mean it to be.
5. Just because they can't see you doesn't mean they can't find out who you are or where you live.
6. Didn't your mother teach you the golden rule? Do unto others before they do you in! (Oh wait. Maybe I'm confusing the rule a little.)
7. What if your children or grandchildren knew you just posted that?
8. Is it really worth getting worked up over?
9. It would be a very boring world if all doll collections/companies/dolls were exactly the same.
10. If you post it on my blog, I might delete your comment. ;)

But who will care for my dolls? Special guest post by Milady Blue

Another guest post by Milady Blue, who is recovering from data loss (among other losses) from the past week. In this thoughtful post, Blue addresses the concern of bequeathing dolls, and the sticky concern surrounding this issue.

But who will care for my dolls?by Milady Blue
Special guest writer

For the first time in my life, I was hit by bad luck on a Friday the 13th. My computer crashed. I used to put this down to superstition, since all Friday the 13ths I have lived through lacked any kind of calamity. No friends or family reported anything particularly sinister. In fact, I was beginning to wonder if it was something made up to sell tickets to horror movies.

While taking data from my last backup, which was in February, I decided to go through my bookmarks. I came across one link that made me sit up and take notice. It was a site for pet owners, giving estate planning advice to make sure one’s pets are cared for in the event of the owner’s death. Of course, we have all heard the cliché of the eccentric rich lady leaving her multi-million dollar fortune to her cat. But regular folks worry about beloved animals, too. Be it a cat, dog, hamster or whatever, they do not want the animal to be left to the mercy of an estate executor.

But it got me thinking--what about my dolls?

Heart throb of the moment -- Are you attracted to funny looking dolls?

Have you ever encountered a doll and had your breath taken away? Even a chance encounter online, can be like falling in love, for me. A large part of the joy in collecting is building my wish list, which more than likely will never be fulfilled. Just the idea of looking at beautiful faces and being swept away by their beauty is often enough.

What happens, however, when you are swept away by the unusual or unique, or heaven forbid, even funny-looking face? I recently came across a photo in Flickr of Leeke World's Florence. She's 40 cm (about 15.75") tall, takes 20mm eyes (other BJDs in this size often wear 12-14mm), and wears an 11" wig (other BJDs this size wear a 7-8" wig).

Why we love some dolls and not others, Part V: Trade Report, by guest blogger Milady Blue

Milady Blue, special guest blogger, continues on her narrative of loving dolls, and what to do when you don't exactly love the ones you've waited so to arrive.

Why We Love Some Dolls and Not Others
Part V: Trade Report
by Milady Blue
Special Guest Writer

My good friend Jane has had a very rough year. I met her through the Cheery About Agnes Dreary discussion group, and she and I have a lot in common. A miles long “wantits” list, where more dolls we like are being produced than we can reasonably afford, is probably our most common trait.

Why we love some dolls and not others, Part IV: Making it work by guest blogger Milady Blue

Guest Blogger Milady Blue continues her shopping saga with Tim Gunn's Make it work! catchphrase. What happens when the doll you just ordered isn't the dolls you thought you'd love, but you're not a customize her, yet you don't think you can send her on to someone else's collection? 

Why We Love Some Dolls and Not Others
Part IV: Making It Work
by Milady Blue

Special guest writer

Do Toys Have Feelings?

I have to chime in here to Milady Blues and Alison's musings about this subject. Do toys have feelings? Movies like Toy Story certainly want us to believe that they do and I think most children accept that, without ever really thinking about it.

It's just a doll--or is it? by guest blogger Milady Blue

Ooops, I've done it again. I've generated not just a comment, but an entire blog post in response to my Rapunzel saga. And no, Milady Blue, you did not hurt my feelings--I'm just another type of doll collector, but I do sincerely appreciate your response.

I'm pleased to present Blue's rebuttal to my Rapunzel article.

Toy Story 3 and doll collecting - by guest blogger Milady Blue

I'm delighted to present Milady Blue's second guest post to the Fashion Doll Review. Here, Blue gives a delightful (no-spoiler) review of the latest Pixar Film, Toy Story 3, and discusses its relevance to doll collectors. I, for one, am perhaps a bit convicted, as I'm currently (ruthlessly) going through my doll collection before IFDC. (I am so busted!)

Collecting dolls on a theme

This article is dedicated to CaliVali, to help her endeavor in defining her doll collection.

How do you deal with organizing your collection and your ever-growing wish list of dolls? I've developed the Theme Method.

Themes organize your dolls and narrow your collection. Themes can help you shop for items that fit your collection, and help justify those purchases more easily. For example, “This doll will fit in perfectly with my Alice in Wonderland collection. I need her."

Cats & Dolls - by guest blogger Milady Blue

I'm pleased to introduce to you to our first guest blogger, Milady Blue. More than any other doll collector I know, she is probably the premier expert on collecting both dolls and cats. And when I say this, it really means a lot--since I also have a tendency to collect both.

If you're a doll collector and own a cat, this article is for you.

Farewell, my sweet friend.

Louie
Originally uploaded by alington

Louie wandered into our yard, lives and hearts just two years ago. After convincing a hesitant husband we just had to keep him, he fell right in with our four kids, and he became my constant companion.

An unusually social cat, he would answer the door, greet guests, and crawl on their chests for attention. He would talk to me most of the day (before he grew ill) in his strange little quacking meow. He loved the kids, but mostly he love adults.